I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize