He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
