that's an acceptable place to lick
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
