Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
