my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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