he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
