pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
