get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
