we made out on top of his cat.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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