We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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