get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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