I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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