Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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