Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
