Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Randomize
