This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
