I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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