i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
