I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize