I want to make a zoo with you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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