i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize