he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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