I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just pee around me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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