In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Drunk is a universal language darling
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