It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
