I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
