Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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