There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
