thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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