You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Someone shattered a urinal.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
