So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
