I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
this boner is exhausting
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
