Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
