bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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