after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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