it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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