You work out of a Hotel?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
COCAINE IS GR8
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
