If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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