i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
