I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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