I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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