How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
