I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so much tequila, so little girl.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
