Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
