brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
