haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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