I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
