I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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