Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
