My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
