Non-Jews are for practice
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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