Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
