shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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