the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize