Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
