Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
