Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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