i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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