i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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