i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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