I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
