okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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