At least make sure they are 18
Why
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
