I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
