break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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