i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
being pregnant is like rehab
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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