ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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