Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize