if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
