I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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