well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Come on in and take your pants off
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