Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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