there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize