I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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