just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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